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- Pushing Daisies S01E08, "Bitter Sweets"

I am so ANGRY. 

I can't believe that my mom is so insensitive about depression and its legitimacy as an illness, and how people cannot just "get over it" or "change their mindset" and just ugh I AM SEETHING

I know that she's been through a lot which caused her to have depression before, and I'm sorry that she suffered, but that doesn't make other people's sufferings trivial or unimportant. It doesn't automatically mean that depression = traumatic past. Some people do experience depression as a response to trauma, but some people don't. It's not just "kaartehan" or a "teenagers these days" thing.

She even remarked that I am being over-emotional about the issue and that maybe someday I'll come to her and tell her that I'm depressed, like it's a joke or something.

Depression is not something people want to have. It's not a piece of clothing that is currently trendy and so everyone wants to jump in the bandwagon. I can't think of anyone who has it that wishes to keep it.  

It's not just being sad because you lost a contest or something, or feeling down because of an argument with a loved one.

Depression is a thick cloud constantly hanging over your head, slowly threatening to choke all the happiness out of you. It's a voice, no, voices that sing a chorus of "You will never be good enough" and "No one will ever love you, and you will die alone" inside your head every time you feel any semblance of contentment with yourself.  It's listening to a friend pour out her heart and giving advice that you can't apply to yourself but saying it anyway because maybe, just maybe, it would help her in all the ways that it couldn't help you. It's crying yourself to sleep, wishing that you don't have to be so frustrated with everything because really, you have a good life, so you really have no reason to be frustrated, and getting frustrated about being frustrated. It's looking in a mirror and only feeling disgust and revulsion and the need to scrub everything until you bleed, as if this would take away this sickening body of yours. It's hiding inside your literal closet, wondering how much better the world would be without you in it. It's tying a belt to a beam and backing out because you are such a failure you can't even get this right, you sad excuse of a person.

If it's just a matter of having a "strong mindset" then why would anyone be depressed? Why would antidepressants exist? Saying that a strong mindset can change brain chemistry would be like saying that being strong willed can cure diabetes or cancer or whatever. It sounds great, but it's just not true.

And yes, mother, I actually have been diagnosed by a professional mental health specialist as having mild clinical depression and anxiety. And this is why I didn't tell you.

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i didn't mean it i made a mistake holy crap i'm really really sorry wow n qcqym,b gcftxrdzdyfybgupojmnihgrtshexadg vhnknsbnbvfuihy;l wv


*fans vigorously*

It's got really nice animation, and uhhh...very crisp artwork, yes...yeah

*fans a lot more*

Olive: If you loved me, and we could never, ever, ever touch, wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on letting someone else have the slightest hope that you might move on to them?

Alfredo: If I loved you? 

Olive: Yeah.

Alfredo: Then I would love you in any way I could. And if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty. And if I went blind, then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind.