On talents and being awesome.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011 @ 11:26 PM
| 0 notesSigh.
I wish I was great at anything. Anything at all. I mean, I'm good at something. A lot of things, actually. But I'm not great.
I am smart, but I fail tests that I studied the hardest for. I dress decently, but I'm not fashionable. I am "cute", but I'm not beautiful. I can sing, but I don't have a remarkable voice. I can draw better than an average person (apparently), but my art can never win a contest. I can write, but I will never write a best-selling book. I can sort of play the piano, but never the Mozart, or the Bach, or the Chopin, always the nursery songs. I can dance, but - screw that; I can't even dance if my life depended on it.
There's a lot of things that I can do, but I know for a fact that I don't necessarily excel in those areas. I am a jack (jill?) of all trades, master (mistress?) of none, and that pisses me off. I'm extremely thankful that I can do all those stuff but it really depresses me that I can't talk to people about actually being great at something.
I've always wondered how my life would be if I was a prodigious savant, with a particular talent that I am excellent at. I dreamed of being able to introduce myself in a room full of people as "Hi, I'm Jireh. I'm a music prodigy." or something, instead of "Hi, I like books." There's nothing wrong with liking books, I'm quite proud of being a bookworm, but I'm just sad that there's nothing that defines me. This has become so obvious to me during this past three years when people in my own freaking class have troubles remembering who I was, because I am unremarkable. They finally settled on "the Asian girl", which is just...yeah. I am a very boring person. So boring, even the people around me know me just by my race. Not my personality, not my talents, just my race. Wow.
Sorry, nerdfighteria. Even if I don't forget, I just can't be awesome.
On talents and being awesome.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011 @ 11:26 PM
| 0 notesSigh.
I wish I was great at anything. Anything at all. I mean, I'm good at something. A lot of things, actually. But I'm not great.
I am smart, but I fail tests that I studied the hardest for. I dress decently, but I'm not fashionable. I am "cute", but I'm not beautiful. I can sing, but I don't have a remarkable voice. I can draw better than an average person (apparently), but my art can never win a contest. I can write, but I will never write a best-selling book. I can sort of play the piano, but never the Mozart, or the Bach, or the Chopin, always the nursery songs. I can dance, but - screw that; I can't even dance if my life depended on it.
There's a lot of things that I can do, but I know for a fact that I don't necessarily excel in those areas. I am a jack (jill?) of all trades, master (mistress?) of none, and that pisses me off. I'm extremely thankful that I can do all those stuff but it really depresses me that I can't talk to people about actually being great at something.
I've always wondered how my life would be if I was a prodigious savant, with a particular talent that I am excellent at. I dreamed of being able to introduce myself in a room full of people as "Hi, I'm Jireh. I'm a music prodigy." or something, instead of "Hi, I like books." There's nothing wrong with liking books, I'm quite proud of being a bookworm, but I'm just sad that there's nothing that defines me. This has become so obvious to me during this past three years when people in my own freaking class have troubles remembering who I was, because I am unremarkable. They finally settled on "the Asian girl", which is just...yeah. I am a very boring person. So boring, even the people around me know me just by my race. Not my personality, not my talents, just my race. Wow.
Sorry, nerdfighteria. Even if I don't forget, I just can't be awesome.
